Wednesday, December 04, 2002

More Poetry By A Malcontent

An Ode to Dawson's Forehead:

There once was a giant cranium
I saw it weekly ad nauseum
It made me sick
Cause the dialogue was unrealistic
So I decided to give myself a barium

A Man, A Suit, An Afro and A Dream
"Believe it or not,
I'm walking on air,
I never thought I could feel so free,
Flying away on a wing and a prayer,
Who could it be?
Believe it or not, it's just me..."
Christina Aguilera
That girl is the most worn out looking, abused and rank looking twenty year old I have ever seen. She makes Heidi Fleiss look wholesome.
Facts of Life
"You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have, The Facts of Life."

Flapping Buttcheeks
That's what I call people that won't shut the hell up.
Barnacles
I wish I was one, so in the meantime I do a pretty darn good imitation of one. Just ask, I'll show you.
Cigarettes
I gotta love em. I'm an angry person so it is natural that I need a nasty crutch.
There Are Some Days When I Really Hate the World
Come on, you know what I'm talking about. Those days where you wish that everyone would just spontaneously explode and leave you alone? And of course those are the days when everyone seems to feel your emanating hatred and they talk to you twice as much as other days? I guess there is a lot to be said about the deep and inner meaning of the Calgon commercials.

Monday, December 02, 2002

I Hate Mimes
They not only are useless but they are about as exciting to watch as taking a dump.
Drivers Down South
I have just recently moved to the Southeast. In my short time here I have noticed that all drivers down here SUCK BIG BALLS. They are the most annoying creatures ever to grace the earth. I hate them with an intense passion. Why you ask? Because not one of them can drive in the rain.